They define sobriety as having no form of sex with one-self or with partners other than the spouse “spouse” is defined to be one’s partner in a marriage between a man and a woman. SA is a fellowship of addicts who admit to being powerless over their lusts and work together to overcome addiction to things like pornography, masturbation and illicit relations. I finally found one that works for me and I believe it will for most Muslims. There are several 12-step sex recovery programs out there with various definitions of sobriety and cater to different audiences. I was hesitant at first and my ego kept getting in the way I thought I wasn’t as bad as ‘those addicts’, but since nothing had worked, this was my only hope. I started exploring anonymous 12-step programs designed for sex addicts. This is when I started looking for off-line recovery somewhere I could find local people who I could work with towards sobriety. However, at the end of the day, you are still alone and stuck with a computer and the internet – these are the very things I was trying to get away from! Online programs give you access to a web forum where you can chat with other addicts, seminars to listen to and the occasional call with a councilor which comes with a hefty price tag. Why? Because I still had to rely on myself to stay sober and follow through with the regimes they laid out. While these helped me get an understanding of my problem and gave me a guide that I could potentially follow to sober up, it ultimately did not work. After realizing I needed help, I started with the obvious things: self-help websites and online programs that cater to Muslims, like Purify Your Gaze. For years I made the mistake we all addicts make: trying to quit it on our own.
This addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation you must end this secrecy to start the process of recovery.
I am a recovering sex addict, and here are the steps I took to achieve sobriety from pornography, compulsive masturbation and other unwanted sexual behaviors: Wonderous things happen when you swallow your pride and accept your powerlessness. I was relying on myself to give it up, I never turned to another person to ask for help for this specific problem. The embarrassing nature of this addiction had meant that I never honestly confided in anyone the true nature of my problem. And then it hit me, the most obvious thing which I had never bothered trying, and the one thing that has made all the difference: getting help from another person. I almost lost all hope as I had tried everything in my will to cure this problem. The feeling of guilt and hypocrisy only grew with time. However, my addiction to pornography remained and I continued to indulge in it by night. Yes, I gained beneficial knowledge and I believe it was the blessings and prayers of the righteous that eventually put me on the path to recovery. Unfortunately, none of this directly helped me cure my addiction to pornography. Set it and collect blessings from Allah (swt) for the khayr you're supporting without thinking about it. The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small.Ĭlick here to support MuslimMatters with a monthly donation of $2 per month. All it takes is a small gift from a reader like you to keep us going, for just $2 / month. Help us get to 900 supporters this month. Keep supporting MuslimMatters for the sake of AllahĪlhamdulillah, we're at over 850 supporters. Little did they know that I was around the scholars because I was in a far greater need of them than anyone else were it not for their company, I would have gone completely astray. People started calling me a ‘student of knowledge’ and seeing me as a pious person because I was around old religious men all the time. I even travelled abroad and spent time studying in Africa I thought if I’d cut myself off from the world and immersed in spirituality, I’d be cured. I turned to religion and spirituality for help, sought sacred knowledge and the company of scholars. I realized that wasn’t the case for me and didn’t’ go through with the marriage. It’s a common misconception that providing a halal avenue to carry out ones’ sexual needs will get rid of one’s desire to watch pornography. If I couldn’t stop while I was in a relationship with a real woman, who’s to say I would stop if we got married? I knew at that point that my behavior wasn’t just a bad habit it was an addiction that had a life of its own – I was completely powerless over it and I couldn’t stop no matter how bad I tried. After no luck giving it up, I considered marriage and pursued a courtship – only to realize half way in the process that I was still watching it. A well-meaning religious counselor once advised me to consider getting married in order to overcome my porn addiction.
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